Monday, March 22, 2010

The unapproved Fiji military dictionary

Frank: Openness; frankness; a desire for clarity.

Example: To be frank, I do what I want, when I want and for how long I want.”

Driti: A person who abuses human rights and wants to go to the Middle East to forget about it.

Example: “I could be more frank with you at the Queen Elizabeth Barracks.”

Leweni: An army expression about freedom of speech in the media.

Example: That reporter deserves a Leweni around the ears.

CCF: Usually said under the breath and sometimes with a religious tone.

Example: (sotto voce): If you don’t like it, you can CCF it up your …

SDL: Hopeful; former political party.

Example: “Do you live in hope? All I hope do so.”

Labour: To labour on

Example: “I was far too frank with him, for my own good.”

Jalal: Another word for $20; a restaurant licence.

Example: “There is no such thing as a free meal in politics."

Rika: An editor who gets headaches every time he reads the newspaper.

Example: “I should have stayed in television.”

Constitution: A vessel to break

Example: “Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.”

Judge: An educated person who can’t.

Example: “I make bad judgments but not about my power and my money.”

2014: A mythical year; a golden future; peace and goodwill to all men except previous politicians.

Example: “To be frank, I might make it 2041.”

Poverty: To be poor either in understanding or wealth.

Example: “Frankly, I enjoyed taking away Rabuka’s pension.”

Contributed by a regular Café Pacific reader. Cartoon: Malcolm Evans and Pacific Journalism Review.

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